St. Dictionary

A glossary of terms that will help you navigate and understand St. Murphy a little better…

A man of a certain age… – there are certain rules that a man of my age must learn to live by. We simply can’t get away with what we used. A man of a certain age is anyone over 35.

Aschapelle – is the ex-boyfriend, now friend. We have joint custody of our children after a very smooth and amicable divorce. He is obsessed with Schapelle Corby and has questionable taste in fashion.

Bears – a community of gay men who celebrate body hair. And leather.

Edenland – one of my blogging bitches and provides me with endless entertainment. She’s quite the inspiration. We think we may have actually met in a seedy Sydney club in the mid-90s but neither of us are sure.

Gay Marriage – I’m doing what I can with Australian Marriage Equality and Community Action Against Homophobia to bring about long overdue change to the Marriage Act. I sick of being discriminated against.

Griffith – my home town. Made famous for its mafia and drug reputation, and Underbelly 2. For me, it’s a small country town that I will always call home.

Grindr – the most fabulous App ever invented. It’s a GPS based social networking App that the gayers use to get laid. Oh, and make friends.

Hag Fag – what my blogging bitches Mrs Woog, Edenland, StylingYou and Sawhole call me.

Inner Circle – this is what I call my closest friends, the ones who have stood the test of time and have put up with more shit from me than anyone else.

Jackson – my second child who now lives primarily with Daddy Aschapelle. He comes to stay at Man Pit often. He is the most loyal, fun, glamorous pooch you will ever meet.

Lady Melbourne – as her name suggests she is Melbourne Royalty. And my travel buddy. Smart, successful, and fucking funny!

Lap’n'tap - A small group circling a venue, bar or nightclub in an effort to find and seduce cute boys.

Lucky Paulie – one of the Inner Circle. A newsman who loves an accent and quick trip round any dance floor in gayville. We met at a Xmas party 11 years ago and each anniversary we celebrate for that many days. After our 3 yr we nearly killed ourselves so now we take naps.

Man Pit – my inner-city bachelor pad. Moved in after ‘the break-up’ and furnished it all butch like. I absolutely love it and Little Sammy and I are very happy here. Overnight guests are always super-impressed.

Miss Cal – my oldest and dearest. We met on my first day at Uni near 20 years ago and we have been with each other ever since. No one knows me better. She’s a PR guru and Queen of the Gays. Love her!

Mrs Woog – was my first wife when on a drunken barnight we were married by Sawhole. After a 16 year seperation Twitter reunited. Then Mrs Woog told me to blog, so I did, cause I always do what Woog tells me. She is my hero and mentor.

Panther – the gay equivalent of a Cougar. A middle-aged gay who preys on aunsuspecting young. Also able to teach them a thing or two.

Political Novice – I like to think I know a little something about politics, I fake it well. Politics intrigues me and I want to know and do more.

Pop Culture Victim – I’ll jump on any old bandwagon that the cool kids are on.

Professional Homo – like I said in ‘about me’, professional could mean many things.

Publicity Guru – I know a thing or two about publicity. Its an area of specialty for me. I will often comment on matters of international scandal and D-grade celebrity.

Sammy – my son. My pride and joy. My best friend and love of my life. Little Sammy is a gorgeous King Charles Cavalier.

Sawhole – an old and dear Uni friend of mine and Mrs Woog’s who is now also one of my blogging bitches. Mrs Woog has a lot to answer for. Sawhole is doing inspirational work creating awareness around mental health.

Single gay man looking… – I’ve discovered since I’ve been single that fulfilling life’s basic needs is a very different thing to when you are in a couple. This is that journey.

StylingYou – again, one of my blogging bitches. No one knows more about blogging than StylingYou and she is ALWAYS the first to offer help or advice. This page is nothing without her.

Television Addict – do not take this lightly. You will be hard-pressed to find anyone who watches more TV than me. Man Pit is a shoebox but still I have two, from my bed I can see both. The Law & Order franchise is like oxygen to me.

The Sculptor – the ex-ex boyfriend who is now a great friend. We are polar opposites in every way. He takes me on adventures into the darker side of gay life. No bigger smartarse in the world.

Twitter-Date – let me be clear, these are non-sexual. Its when I meet people for the first time after becoming friends with them on Twitter. I’ve have made some brilliant friends from Twitter and Twitter-Dates.