I’m not exactly a spring chicken. I often
joke that I am a middle-aged queen and refer to myself as ‘a man of a certain
age’. To be specific, I’m 39 and now only a matter of months away from the big
4-0. I can not wait for this massive celebration and as a general rule I don’t
think I have a problem with growing old (Botox helps!).
feel like a 40 year old. I’ve always struggled with ‘maturity’, it doesn’t sit
well with me. I behave like a child, I socialise like a teenager and I date
like I’m in my early 20’s. Now this has become even more apparent in the last
few months when I’ve got myself back on the singles scene. I spent most of my
30’s in a beautiful relationship and now that this has ended I think I’ve
regressed in age.
|Leader of the Pack: Demi|
I may be 39 but I am back acting like
someone a decade younger. And it seems my tastes haven’t evolved in that time
either. I’ve caught myself a number of times recently ‘engaging’ with those
much younger than me. There was one moment at Daywash on Big Gay Weekend when I
found myself all animated in the middle of a circle of 22 year olds. I swear
some of them weren’t even shaving yet. What could I possibly have in common
with these boys?
|I’d do anything Madonna does|
But this has been happening a lot. To the
point where it’s started to make me uncomfortable. Then suddenly the penny
with modern-day dating and often used to mock. But I completely understand now.
It was a lightbulb moment – I am a cougar! But I struggled to see myself in the
image of the traditional cougar – I wear pants but no make-up – so I put the
call out on Twitter. What do you call a gay cougar? The response was quick,
dramatic and unanimous. A gay cougar is a…
I couldn’t be more proud. I love that there is even a term for it. I should
have known the gays would be all over this one. Oh the fun I am going to have
now that I can legitimately call myself a Panther. They have sleek black coats,
can move incredibly fast and pounce on their unsuspecting prey with stealth
like precision. Kudos to me!
|Calvin Klein and boyfriend|
jokes, I have to admit there is a more philosophical debate to be had around
the existence of cougars and panthers. If you had of tried to explain this to
me even 6 months ago I wouldn’t have understood, but now after a while doing
the pub/bar/Grindr circuit I completely get it.
the young. And by young I mean under 35. Boys in their 20’s are literally
swarming everywhere. You can not buy a vodka, lime & soda or turn on your
Grindr without them popping up everywhere like cockroaches. Now this is a
brilliant thing if you too are in your 20s, if you are ‘a man of a certain age’
it really does narrow your focus.
|Elton John and boyfriend|
out and about – on the scene or online. Maybe they are all shacked up by now?
Maybe they lost interest in the scene a long time ago? Maybe they have secret
places they go to that I don’t know about yet? But I’ve been on a 7 year hiatus
so I’m playing catch-up. I’ve got my training wheels on for sure but I’m yet to
find a way to meet people that isn’t dominated by the young.
arse, I can imagine it would be very similar for the cougars. If you want to
meet someone, have some company, have some fun; then your options to mix with
people of your own age are very limited. They are all off choosing their new
home furnishings or planning couples weekends away. They are having dinner
parties with old friends and going to school concerts.
same are the young. Age does have its advantages for the cougars and the
panthers though. We’ve had many more years to fine-tune our wit, charm and
intellect for the sole purpose of luring in our prey. They are putty in our
hands when they come across our specilaised skill-set. Well, sometimes.
panther and the cougar. Now that I understand this social group and recognize
that I am part of it, I can completely appreciate and encourage our existence.
|No reason for this photo, just that its my favourite from the weekend!|